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Sunday, May 1, 2011

5 Rules For Watching "Fast Five"

"Chances are sooner or later, we are gonna end up behind bars or buried in a ditch somewhere. But not today."
Vin Diesel, Jordana Brewster, Paul Walker, Tyrese and Ludacris are back as car thugs being chased down by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and his cop crew in the fifth installment of the high-octane Fast and the Furious franchise, Fast Five, which roared into theaters this weekend racking up an estimated $83.6 million. If you're planning to see it, here are five rules of thumb you may want to consider first:

1) Check your brain at the door. This one is really important, so write it down if you have to. You can't go into this movie concentrating on the plot and analyzing it. And forget trying to figure out whose the better actor (it's a draw; the entire cast is bad), or what Vin Diesel is mumbling about at times (it's really nothing important anyway). Just sit back and watch it go.

2) Appreciate a body well done. No matter what you're into--boys or girls--you'll go gaga over the spectacle of well-oiled bodies trickling through the streets of Rio de Janeiro in the movie. From The Rock's sweaty biceps to newcomer to the gang Gal Gadot in her teeny weeny bikini, there is something for everyone.

3) Plan accordingly. The movie runs 130 minutes long, without previews, so make sure your schedule is blocked out for this chunk of time. Even though the movie is a bit long, the infinite amount of car chases and wickedly entertaining, death-defying action scenes helps time fly by.

4) Pick a side--The Rock or Vin Diesel? It's only right. And you must know going in. So are you ride or die for the car-snatching ex-con Dominic Toretto (Diesel) or do you wanna smell what The Rock is cooking? Spoiler alert: there is a duel. And it's a good one. So choose wisely.

5) Stick around after the credits. Don't be fooled. It's still going...and you won't want to miss it.

Rating: C+


Castor said...

Intrigued by this given the relatively positive reviews. I might check it out next week and will observe those 5 rules ;)

Unknown said...

I've been putting of seing this soon simply because the cinema is full of annoying rev-eds and whatever else.

Ms☆Go said...

Am I the only person who's not into the "Fast" series?

I mean, I happy for the blockbuster totals, because it's yet more evidence that actors of color are marketable, here and overseas...but I just can't get into speeding cars done Micheal Bay-lite style.

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