It's that time again. Time to hit the books and trudge through another year of exams, papers, and awkward social scenes. But before you head back to campus, arm yourself with the following nine lessons from some of your favorite movies:
1) Going through a bad break-up? Drown your sorrows into a soon-to-be billion-dollar company (The Social Network). You might not have any other female prospects once you launch this megaconglomerate, but it sure will be fun throw caution--and all tact--to the wind and head your own franchise. Just don't forget who your friends are. And, for crying out loud, don't rip them out of their share of the fortune. That's never cool.
2) If you're going to ditch class, grab some friends and have a party in the streets (Ferris Bueller's Day Off). This is probably more like what not to do when you ditch school. We're still not sure how Ferris dodged the afternoon news stations, who could have easily put his misdemeanor on full blast for his parents. But we're not recommending you try this as home. If you're playing hooky, we'd suggest keeping all extracurricular activities low-key. Or, better yet, just go to class.
3) Your lies crush reputations, even your own (Easy A). It's tempting to want to make up lies about yourself to make yourself sound cooler in school. But sometimes those lies spiral out of control and turn into even bigger lies. In the end, you're not so cool. Unless you're Emma Stone, who seems to have an endless amount of coolness.
4) The "In" crowd isn't all that cool (Heathers). Don't bother trying to jump through hoops just to get hand-picked for the popular crowd. You might find that underneath they're depressed, suicidal dweebs. And the only way to really overcome their campus takeover is to turn their evil tricks on themselves.
5) Make friends with the rejects (The Breakfast Club). It doesn't matter if you're the popular girl or the jock on campus, when it comes to detention everyone is a reject, even you. So don't ignore the geek or the awkward girl in the hallways. You might have to spend a whole afternoon with them, with nothing to talk about but ...your feelings. A little advice: don't do anything for which you might get detention (especially tip #2).
6) Always get the last word (Carrie): Don't let your haters get away with plotting to turn your prom into a nightmare by pouring pig's blood over your sparkly new gown just as you're getting crowned homecoming queen. If they try to act foul, show them who's boss by trapping them in the gymnasium and setting them on fire. Or, try another more legal way to serve revenge.
7) A heart of gold and an impeccable wardrobe is key (Clueless). It doesn't matter if you've only got about two brain cells in your head, or whether "you're a virgin, who can't drive." As long as you're dressed in the latest fashions, have a spot-on witless sense of humor, and a heart of gold (enough to take in fashion runaways), you'll be totally boss on campus. Haters can hate.
8) Find a teacher who believes in you (Lean On Me and Stand and Deliver). High school's not easy. But you know that hard-as-nails teacher who's always on your back about one thing or another? He's an ally. He may seem annoying but he's your ticket to higher education. Make friends with him.
9) It's probably best not to go to a party after a major breakup (Can't Hardly Wait). If you're the popular girl and you just broke up with the equally popular football jock, you're best bet is to avoid the happening weekend party. He'll be there, with his idiot friends, and you'll be there with your fake friends, and miserable. Your girls will want to faux-comfort you while secretly lusting after your ex, and his friends would be too busy kicking lame game to uninterested females. No one will have fun.